It's still snowing, and I have decided to start FEAR AND LOATHING regular posts on Monday. Until then, enjoy my near-constant updating of ELLEVEE, my personal blog, which is filled with neverending delights.
I WILL RETURN. Actually, I am always here. If you have websites/pics/links/are selling ANYTHING and want me to blog about it, drop me a line at veeandloathing@gmail.com.
Blog * ARE YOU ASKING ME BECAUSE I AM USING ONLY CAPSLOCKS AND CAN'T STOP SCREAMING AND BLINK 10,000 TIMES PER SECOND? Um... Title is from Glee. Which I miss, and how long is its damn hiatus?
This is a weird blog week, and stuff is going on in the back offices of FEAR AND LOATHING (ish) and I am STILL jet-lagged (I heard somewhere it's a day for each hour of time difference, so I am MILKING THIS SHIT, PEOPLE), but I cannot leave the internet alone, so here is what I have been doing online:
We're nearing 150,000 hits on FEAR AND LOATHING. Should I have a contest? I already have one event planned, but, I don't know. I could knit you something? Someone give me ideas.
Since I am still jetlagged as FUCK, we're going to have a short blog entry. Be grateful. Yesterday I put salt in my coffee, and drank it all before I realized.
Today on FEAR AND LOATHING, we're looking at what my friends are doing on the interwebz these days.
* I've always said Miss Banshee is a brilliant, talented, and truly gifted writer. This article on disability and mental illness makes that sound like faint praise indeed. It's inarguably one of the most touching pieces I've read on the subject. It's hard to believe someone can be so kind, beautiful, talented, funny, and profound, and speak so frankly about such subjects with a humor that shines through in even the darkest moments. She's one of my true heroes, and you wish she was your friend.
* I love buying Spazzy Amber's yarn. It looks stunning, smells glorious, and is soft and like cotton candy and clouds mixed with fairy sparkles. LOOK:
When I am rich and famous (or at least rich), I am going to have her be one of my personal yarn-makers. She's already agreed. Now I just need to inherit.
EVERYTHING ELSE IS INVALID. Except I met her and Metalouise and ThatRevChap, AND THAT MAKES THIS EVEN MORE EPIC. Somehow. I don't know. Did you know they have CARPETS in PUBS in England? I did not.
I WANT AN ALIEN FACE-HUGGER TO SMITE MY ENEMIES.
More will be coming, if I ever get over this goddamn jet-lag, which is destroying my brain and woke me up FREAKY EARLY.
So I got back from England yesterday, and I am JETLAGGED AS EVERLOVING HELL, and have work today, and while I love my job very much, I am disoriented, and maybe just yelled at a seltzer bottle.
Blog * Yeah, actually, that's a fair statement. Title is from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
* So, remember guys, I'm going to be gone from Friday 12 February to Sunday 21 February, in England. I make NO promises to blog or do anything like that. I will simply take a shitload of pictures of England and the awesome that occurs there, which I will probably post on my return.
Fandom * This poster makes me happy every damn time I look at it: see more deMotivational Posters
Awesome * Why is this a fail? I think people should be able to buy these for everyone. I want one. They're GENIUS: [Found at Failblog] I'm not kidding. This could be the best Valentine ever.
Technology * I don't know about you, but I don't remember shit about being in utero. I don't really remember anything before the age of four, and most of my four-year-old memories involve The Land Before Time, (AKA the best goddamn movie EVER). What I'm trying to say is, I don't get the need to have the collection of cells in your tummy listen to 'My Humps': [Found at Like Cool] Oh, and this line really scares me:
"Researchers have demonstrated that reactive listening begins at 16 weeks, when your wee geek-to-be is roughly the size of a tasty avocado."
Partly because that's highly debateable, but mostly because now whenever someone tells me they're pregnant, I will instantly think, 'WHAT SIZE FRUIT IS THE FETUS?'
Monstrous hypertension record-setter Rahm Emanuel has A LOT OF SHIT TO DO AND DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO FUCKING HOST THIS FUCKING PANSY-ASS ROUNDTABLE SHIT, but he will GET IT OVER WITH and then will you people SHUT THE FUCK UP FINALLY. Apparently apologizing for a PRIVATE FUCKING REMARK wasn’t good enough for the FUCKING SHRIVERS and now what, he has to KISS SOME SHRIVER’S ASSHOLE and host a DELEGATION ARE YOU SERIOUS JESUS CHRIST OF FUCKING R–… WHATEVER YOU FUCKING CALL THEM… AT THE WHITE HOUSE, are you SERIOUS? FINE, let’s just FUCKING DO THIS…
(For my part, I think everyone overreacted, it wasn't like he screamed obscenities from the White House Press Room (although if he does, I want every YouTube video of that, EVER).
Oh, and Mr. Emanuel was a ballet dancer, which makes me love him so much for so many reasons. If you say anything about his tights, he will motherfucking wreck you, bitches.
Life Lessons * The lovely and brilliant Metalouise sent me this, and it cheered me up on a bad day, and more importantly exposed me to the GROSS INCOMPETENCE of our educational system: Also, kids, remember you can always use the gasoline fires to cook your dog! Just another fun tip from Aunty Elle! Now fetch me a bottle of vodka and some smokes.
Daily Hot Guy [Alan Rickman, who has rendered it impossible for me to see the new Robin Hood movie, because there is NO OTHER Sheriff of Nottingham beside him, YOU FOOLS.]
Daily Icon [Lady Gaga, who is talented, smart, unapologetically weird, and most of all encourages you to celebrate who you are, bizarre as that may be. PLUS, she's short and from New York, and THAT means we should be friends and hang out and she should take me shopping. And I love the placement of that tattoo on her arm.]
Wow * Dear Universe: If you need to make yet ANOTHER Friday the 13th remake (PLEASE DON'T), I think you need to give Jason this Hello Kitty Chainsaw: [Found at Like Cool] Because at the very least, if the movie sucks, I can laugh maliciously as Hello Kitty slaughters half-naked teens.
It's the SNOWPOCALYPSE! SNOWMAGEDDON. SNOWMG. Etc. I have the day off from work. - LV
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Blog * Well, I can- yeah, that's just awful. Title is from Mr. Show With Bob & David.
Comics * These comic covers freak me out. I do not like these. Why does Mickey look like he took some bad acid? [Found at Boing Boing] INTERNET, STOP MAKING MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES THINGS OF HORROR.
Food!Win * Holy deep fried beefy ricey goodness! [Found at This Is Why You're Fat] Meat on a stick! Well, to be accurate, they're rice cakes wrapped in hamburger patty and pan fried. ON STICKS. Serve these at your next party, and then don't share any with your friends. That'll show them. They know what they did.
Life Lessons * 'Wow that rain sure is wet, isn't it?' [Found at Indexed]
Words of Win see more Epic Fails Companies: Check your spelling before you go to press, OK?
Doctor Who * Remember when I posted the Doctor Who credits done like Firefly, and our collective minds shattered under the force of the awesome? They did them Angel-style too:
Torchwood * Guys, this just happened, for real: I just found, right this second, Torchwood credits done Angel style:
Angel's theme song may be my favorite of any Joss Whedon show. And I know there's a lot of debate between fans as to the similarities and differences of these two television creators, but as far as I'm concerned, THEY KILL WHAT I LOVE, and that's as far as the debate goes for me.
Daily Hot Guy(s) [Zachary Quinto, AKA Sylar from Heroes, and Zachary Levi, AKA Chuck from Chuck. I have no idea what's going on in this picture, but CAN YOU FEEL THE BROMANCE? A TALE OF TWO ZACHARYS? Maybe there will be a Chuck/Heroes crossover, and Adam Baldwin will beat the everloving shit out of Peter Petrelli (Yes, I admit he's very attractive, but I still want him to get beat up on the show). This picture was sent to me by Laroux74, who is simply awesome beyond words.]
Daily Icon [Exene Cervenka, lead singer of X (alongside John Doe), one of my favorite bands of ALL TIME. She also sang with The Knitters, and is one of the punk icons. Sadly, she has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, but in true Exene Cervenka style, she's not letting it get her down. X has ben supporting Sweet Charity for ages, and you should too.]
Epic!Fail * It's worse when they have no idea who he is, besides, 'a revolutionary': see more deMotivational Posters
An official ceremony was held to change the name of a mountain in the Hunan province to commemorate James Cameron’s Avatar.
Then they changed their minds and denied the whole thing. I like to imagine everyone shrieking, 'I KNOW NOTHING OF AVATAR. BLUE HAIR SEX? SOUNDS DISGUSTING.'
Life Lessons * Intentional misspellings can be funny, and everyone makes mistakes from time to time (I look at old entries of this blog and CRINGE at my typos). But there are certain words we, as a species, need to stop misspelling: [Found at The Oatmeal] There are nine more, and you need to memorize this, because I AM SICK OF EXPLAINING WHY YOUR AND YOU'RE ARE DIFFERENT. YES IT MATTERS. Found by Julie_Raven, who sends bad spellers to hell.
Movie!Win * I didn't get to see this movie in theaters, because the universe is cruel, but regardless of that (or mixed reviews) the trailer and poster for Where The Wild Things Are makes me enormously happy: [Found at Das Cabinet des Dr Ruthven] I STILL WANT THOSE PAJAMAS, DAMMIT.
Wow * This picture makes me smile every time I see it: see more deMotivational Posters He's so HAPPY.
WTF, INTERNET? * File this under: Products that will get you killed, or at least arrested: [Found at Crunch Gear] Picture this: It's a dark night, you're trying to impress some girl with your badassery. You stand outside the club. She is unimpressed with your leather jacket. But you have a secret weapon. You reach into your pocket, pull out the comb. She screams-
And an hour later you are sitting in a smelly cell with a large, grinning man named Molly, because YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE A GUN COMB.
Well, what did we learn?
Daily Hot Guy [James Franco, AKA, Daniel Desario in Freaks and Geeks, AKA The Least Embarrassing Aspect of Spider-Man 3, AKA Yes I Have Watched General Hospital Because He's On It, And He's Sort Of Incredible On It.]
Daily Icon [Nancy Sinatra, singer, actress, and GIVE ME THOSE GOGO BOOTS, NANCY. I NEED THEM IN MY LIFE]
Music * Screw you all, the Goo Goo Dolls were my first concert (with Sugar Ray and Fastball, WHAT WHAT!) and I love them and will continue to love them, and ANYWAY, they are serenading Elmo from Sesame Street, and who's going to argue with THAT?
Also Elmo made a pie, which is sort of the best thing ever.
Words Of Win * When I as in college, my roommates and I sealed up the holes we made in the walls with toothpaste. You couldn't see it, and the room smelled minty fresh!
i had plans on painting my bedroom with the whiteout that i ordered and will now contemplate upper-decking the restrooms at the an undisclosed location.
A 14-YEAR-OLD boy drank gasoline for five years to obtain “energy” – just as his idols “Bumble Bee” or “Optimus Prime” do in “Transformers,” the Sichuan-based West China Metropolis Daily reported yesterday.
A) This kid drank gasoline for five YEARS? HOW IS HE ALIVE? B) His parents knew about this and DID NOTHING? I don't have kids, but if I did, and I found my child drinking gasoline to be like a giant robot, I'd switch it, I don't know, APPLE JUICE? Something that won't STRIP YOUR INNARDS? C) He kept this up for five years? Wouldn't you give up after a year or two when you didn't become a giant, super-powerful robot? Maybe I just lack conviction. D) GASOLINE?
`Hello, I'm the Doctor. And, if you can hear this, then one of us is going to die.'
.......Or not. Wait, can I have a third option?
Epic!Fail * You know what? see more deMotivational Posters I'll use the other bathroom. You can use this one. The fact that this picture exists has ruined all of my Friday. It's just Photoshopped, RIGHT?
Daily Icon [Vivien Leigh, actress, fashion fierceness, and BAMF English lady who could out-Southern the Southern Belles. Also Ophelia, Cleopatra, and Blanche Du Bois, among others. Most famously, Scarlett O'Hara, a shrewd bitch and brutally pragmatic woman who took no shit, and rocked some dressed I want. Requested by Alchemistique, who stole Scarlett's wardrobe.]
Awesome * Whoever sent me this, thank you. I hated Forrest Gump. I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THIS. Except for Gary Sinise, who was a burning hunk of genius.
Food!Fail * It's things like this that make me profoundly grateful my grandmother does not read this blog. She's Italian, and takes cooking very, very seriously: [Found at This Is Why You're Fat] And I'm sure that ravioli stuffed with barbecued rib meat and mashed potatoes, sour cream, bacon and chives, all topped with melted cheddar, bacon, cheese sauce, green onions and shredded cheese breaks every taboo in her book of food.
Although then maybe I'd get an exclusive on a story like, 'Tiny Elderly Italian Woman Beats The Everloving Fuck Out Of Whoever Desecrated The Ravioli.' She would.
Technology * Why, no, I haven't run out of iPad jokes, why do you ask?
Politics * James O'Keefe is not a nice person. In fact, he is a shit head. He's not a political figure, so maybe this doesn't actually belong in this category, but he fucked with ACORN and now is fucking with New Orleans, and NOBODY would think that scrawny little piece of fail was a pimp. Oh, and he doesn't seem to like women, or people who are different races, or anybody who's not him. Can I see your cane for a minute, James?
* This photo of Scott Brown, like the iPad, NEVER stops being funny: [Found at The ISS] Hey, if the dude can be a naked politician, more power to him. I just think it's funny how naked he is, in Cosmopolitan. Oh, and the Democrats consider this guy to be the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse, when we all know it's a tall blue alien that wants to sex us with his hair.
Yes, I'm still pissed about Avatar.
Dollhouse * Um, so reading this recap of the final episode of Dollhouse made me cry, which was surprising. I mean, the show was criminally uneven, with some of the worst episodes Joss Whedon has ever done, and some of the best episodes of any show he's ever done (Truth. There are a couple of Dollhouse episodes that rank as his finest work).
But I loved it, and I loved Topher and Alpha Wash, and I cried a few times at the series finale (AND AT ELIZA DUSHKU. I apologize for doubting you. You were fabulous.) and now I'm sort of pissed at Joss Whedon for not keeping the show consistently good.
THERE WAS POTENTIAL. AND FRAN KRANZ MAKES ME SHOUTY BECAUSE HE AND ALPHA WASH SHOULD TEAM UP WITH DR. HORRIBLE.
Anyway, all my above natterings are meaningless, because of one line in this article:
(Dear Christopher Nolan: Alan Tudyk should be the new Joker. Love, Everybody Who Knows What's Up.)
HOLY GOD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE GENIUS THAT HAS BEEN UNLEASHED ON US? I WOULD SEE THIS. I WOULD SEE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS. HE COULD PWN CHRISTIAN BALE AND NOT EVEN BREAK A SWEAT. MY BRAIN IS SO HAPPY WITH THIS IDEA. AND DAVID TENNANT AS THE RIDDLER? I... I need to go lie down....
In other news, I need to knit a mustache for my shark. LITERALLY. - LV
Blog * That's the spirit, Dean! Title is from Supernatural.
Girly Shit * As if it wasn't vaguely shameful enough to shop at Urban Outfitters (look, they have some seriously cute clothing, but there is a STIGMA to shopping there, and this isn't HELPING: [Found at Jezebel] The shirt color is Obama/Black? There is no joke I could make here more hideous than that fact.
Comics * I've been reading The Boys since day 1, when I MET Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson at the release of the comic, and they were EVERYTHING I imagined and hoped they'd be, and a HAMSTER gets raped to death in this series, and that's one of the nicer things. SO GO READ THE DAMN COMIC.
Girly Want * These shoes are made for kicking ass and taking names: [Found at Shoe Lust] Plus I could tramp through the snow WITHOUT getting my pants soaked. It's one of the special challenges of being petite.
Life Lessons * It's true, and that's somewhat irritating: [Found at Indexed]
Movie!Win * First of all, congratulations to District 9 for its very deserved Oscar nominations. It was a wonderful movie, and the fact that Avatar got nominated at all shows that Hollywood is a cruel bitch (look, visually Avatar was incredible, but the story was a fucked-up bastardization of Pocahontas meets Ferngully meets Dances With Smurves, plus HAIR SEX, and I guessed every plot point, and I am not good at that, SO COME ON), and I hope it wins things.
Wow * I talk in my sleep. I talk in my sleep a LOT, and have full-fledged conversations and frighten anyone unlucky enough to be near me. But compared to this guy, I am an amateur:
"No puppy! Bad puppy! Make you into puppy slippers."
"You know, it's a human race. And you lost."
"You're more attractive than a seeping anal gash. But only just."
This guys REM is INTENSE, dude. I am afraid.
Daily Hot Guy [Robert Downey jr. as Sherlock Holmes. Literary fantasy for the WIN.]
Daily Icon [Xena, Warrior Princess, played by the mercilessly fabulous Lucy Lawless. A fictional character, yes, but a powerful, strong, bullshit-free, sexy woman, and one I'd be happy to emulate. Plus few people could pull of that outfit. Requested by Millarca, who is a secret samurai. Don't tell anyone.
Animals * Puppy Versus Robot! WHO WILL WIN:
I think we should have puppy robots. Less mess.
Music * Dear Butch Walker: I love you, and your music, and this song, but it's been stuck in my head for a few days now, and I keep humming 'Lalala' at inappropriate moments, and I AM TIRED:
OK, it snowed last night, so I don't have to go to work, right? RIGHT? Why are you all laughing? Being a grown-up sucks. SNOW DAYS FOR EVERYONE. - LV
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Blog * But you came pretty close to it when you ran out of Twinkies. Title is from Zombieland, which came out today and which I now own.
* In honor of Zombieland, which I love very much (in case you haven't been paying attention), today's blog is A) Much later than usual, and B) Zombie-Focused. OK, A is more because I overslept. But let's say it has something to do with Zombieland, shall we?
Life Lessons * There will be a zombie apocalypse, one day, if you believe George Romero (and I do). You may scoff, but don't come crying to me when people are munching on your grey matter.
Wow * Did you know that AFTER you die, you can stand trial? And real trial, not that Street Court shit:
In 897 CE, Pope Stephen VI accused former Pope Formosus of perjury and violation of church canon. The problem was that Pope Formosus had died nine months earlier. Stephen worked around this little detail by exhuming the dead pope’s body, dressing it in full papal regalia, and putting it on trial. He then proceeded to serve as chief prosecutor as he angrily cross-examined the corpse. T
I would have paid good money to see that. This will make it much easier to prosecute the zombies. Until, you know, they start chewing on the judge. Dead people can also get married, and be used as fuel. Death is not the end!
Epic!Fail * NO:
Swaroup Anand, 23, from Bangalore, is fully conscious as he undergoes open-heart surgery.
NO. You cut me open, I am knocked the hell out. I want ALL the drugs, you hear me? I am not going to sit there WATCHING as you root around in my chest cavity. THAT IS NOT OK. What are the benefits to this, besides being able to tell the story afterwards? I know anesthesia is dangerous, but isn't open-heart surgery already dangerous? And wouldn't it be somewhat distracting for the surgeon as his patient SCREAMS through the entire procedure?
I don't know what this has to do with zombies, except that after this sort of thing I'd run towards the nearest living thing and kill it (identify the quote, get a prize!)
Food!Win * Reader (and blogger, and Deviant Artist) Chey posted this picture in the comments, but it's so amazing that I feel it deserves further attention. She labeled it, 'the wedding cake of Tallahassee and LV': The reception is going to be OFF THE HOOK.
Comics * PEOPLE: DO NOT SEX THE ZOMBIES: [Found at NatalieDee] SERIOUSLY. And is she putting her tongue in, or pulling it out? Or is that a piece of meat? ZOMBIE SEX IS BAD TOUCH.
Daily Hot Guy
[Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee, the Greatest Zombie Hunter Ever, from Zombieland. I bought the same hat for my Halloween costume. Tragically, a Tallahassee does not come with your purchase.]
I want to be a badass ninja/assassin/killer angel /steampunk/detective/zombie-hunter/knitting expert/
coffee girl/scientist/author/fashionista/world traveler. WIth tattoos.
